i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
