week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
