Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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