Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
