At least make sure they are 18
Why
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
