That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
