Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
