I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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