Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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