And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
