This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
