ugly people sure do ruin things
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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