I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
