Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize