I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
