New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
