Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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