We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize