i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I understand Curling. That high.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
