I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
