i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
