My first STD was from a foam party
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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