i barfeds in our rink
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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