I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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