I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
