were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
