I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
