Betty ford says i'm here all night
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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