I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
