Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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