No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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