Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
