then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Sponge bath it is.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
