Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You need a sexual gate keeper
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Randomize
