he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
