explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
