I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
