I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
