Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
