Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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