i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Randomize
