I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I could make wine with my vomit
you traded sex for a burrito?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize