So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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