I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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