hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
