Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
