Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
should my penis look like a turkey
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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