the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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