No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
