just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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