didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
