you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We just shotgunned beers for America
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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