Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
