at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
