if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
