easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
