Define "chronic" masturbator.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
false alarm. still invincible.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
