if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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