2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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