Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
