It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize