Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
