Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize