I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
