Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So vagazzling was a success
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
