Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize