Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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