The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
