He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize