i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
