Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
accomplished twins. life is a go
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
